The first annual KGB Millions...

...well, maybe not millions, but there was a bracelet.

Sadly, the author did not take that particular piece of jewelry home. There were 10 players, and I ended up finishing in 7th. Believe me, I was NOT happy about how I played in the slightest. While I do think that taking down all the info to blog about it hurt my concentration a little, I don't want to use that as an excuse. I got felted because I was only half-focused, and I once again ignored my read and what I believed to be a tell. Ugh.

Anyway, since my cash-game homies wanted to be famous, here you go, guys. Let me introduce you to the principals:

Seat 1: Mike - Part of Team Ballin'. I first met him in AC back in May, but I had never had the chance to play against him before. He had lost a few bucks at the tables there...and that was all I had to go on other than a pre-game scouting report of "he's aggressive". I hate to admit this now, but Brendan (my roommate) and I had a side bet as to who would go out first, and I guessed Mike due to his aggressive nature.

Seat 2: Brian - Solid player, but a guy who craves action...sometimes to his detriment. He knows the right plays and in general is pretty good at changing gears and mixing up his play. But, where he gets into trouble is his "inklings"...which usually translate into fairly loose calls with, oh, how do I say this charitably? Umm..."less-than-premium hands". Yeah, that's it. I'm going to regret giving this advice I'm sure, but dude...less calls, less hands, more re-raises. That's all you're missing.

Seat 3: Matt - Just met him that night. Drank nine beers during the course of play.

Seat 4: Other Rob - He's the "other" Rob because a) I also just met him that night, and b) He wasn't hosting. He turned out to be a solid, quality player.

Seat 5: Joe - One of the two tournament specialists at the table. Remember my post from a while back where me and my two friends finished 1-2-3 in a $1 SNG? He was the zombie dude who just wouldn't die.

Seat 6: Rob - Our gracious host. Rob KGB is, by my estimation, the best overall player at the table. His knowledge of odds and the proper play to match them is unmatched by any of the rest of us there, and he has the courage to go along with it. I'm not going to regret giving this advice because I've already done it, but he rarely loses because of outright mistakes...when he does lose, it's due to going on tilt and/or talking himself out of hands he'd probably win otherwise.

Seat 7: Me - You know about this guy by now. Crap tournament player, overplays medium-high holdings, has a super-aggressive reputation even though I really don't play that many hands, etc and so on. The "maniac" of the home game.

Seat 8: Al - The other tournament specialist. To an even greater extent than Joe, he will go into what we call the "beserker rage" when he's down some in chips...before you know it, he's doubled up twice and right back in the hunt. He used to sarcastically be called "Action Al" due to being a tight player - especially by this game's standards. Honestly, he plays just enough hands, and plays them well. He has an amazing talent of folding when the other guy has a monster, and often extracts the maximum when he has one. Like Rob, when he loses, it's because he's probably beaten himself. Is WAY too hard on himself, and has to learn to recognize sometimes that losing doesn't mean you played incorrectly.

Seat 9: Brendan - My roommate, as mentioned. Considering he has only intermittently played for a few short months, he's astonishingly good. No joke, he's made me look like a rookie more than once in our home games. Great actor (in terms of portraying false tells), great at spotting tells...just a little too tight-passive at times.

Seat 10: Niko - Another good, solid player. He has a reputation of ALWAYS hitting his straights and flushes, but that's because he has the stones to play the drawing hands in the first place. If you really watch him, you'll notice that he's good about only drawing when he has the correct odds (or close to them) to do so. He does an excellent job of taking advantage of his reputation, too.

So, without further ado, I'll get into the notable "TV" hands. I know this is going to be long and probably tedious reading if you aren't a) my friend or b) someone who played in this game, so I'll try and be as brief as I can.

Hand 1: Robbie KGB takes down a big pot right away, at Joe's expense (and Brian's somewhat, but he bailed on the turn). The board was 8-5-5-5-J, and Rob showed 4-5. Yep...quads on the first fucking hand.

Hand 5: Rob loses this one, but not a lot considering the board was K-K-K-Q-6, and Brendan had A-K. That's right...that's the SECOND time quads were hit within five hands.

Oh, by the way, this game was sloth-like for the first few hours. By the time we were three hours in or so, we had only played like 25 hands. With the usual home-game stuff (rabbit-hunting, people not realizing it's their turn, etc), I suppose that was inevitable. It made it a little weird in that the blinds had gone up and up and up, and we were playing maybe 3-4 hands per level. This was the first time we've done a home-game tournament though, so we'll figure it out for the next time. Anyway...

Hand 7: The good guy takes down his first pot, catching two pair with 7-6 off-suit.

Hand 8: Had middle pair with Q-10, but couldn't stand the heat of Mike's $80 bet with three flush cards out there.

Hand 10: Rob KGB loses to Other Rob. Other Rob calls 4X BB raise pre-flop, and then calls Rob's flop and river bets. The board was J-10-2 (all spades) - 4-2. Rob shows A-8 off-suit, Other Rob had Q-10.

Hand 11: I accidentally exposed a 4 when I folded the State Patrol hand. That helped out Rob quite a bit, as he ended up having 4-4! Matt and Mike play a fairly big pot, which is taken down by Matt's king-high flush.

Hand 12: Rob isn't so lucky this time - his A-Q is beaten by Matt's 4-3. His call of Rob's pre-flop raise is likely partially due to the fact that he was 2 beers in at that point. Rob is now steaming.

Hand 13: Mike takes control with this one. I call with 10s-7s, a couple of other limpers are driven out along with me by Joe's raise up to $200. Rob goes in the tank forever, but goes away (he showed me 9-9). Niko then enters the tank, and eventually comes to the same conclusion. Mike goes all-in for $315 more, which Joe calls. Joe shows Ad-Ks, Mike shows 9s-8d (see what I mean about the aggression?). The flop comes 7-6-5, the King on the river is obviously no help to Joe. Joe is below $500 in chips, so he is the first to utilize the one re-buy.

Hand 15: I build up my stack at Niko's expense. I call with 6-5 in the SB, Niko and Matt are along for the ride. The flop is a gorgeous 6-5-2, to which I immediately fire out $80. Niko calls, Matt bails. I get another $200 when a 7 hits on the turn, and the river was a 9. We both checked it down, and he showed A-7.

Hand 16: I get A-K on the button, and call Rob's raise along with Al and Brendan. The flop is 10-4-3 rainbow, and my continuation bet takes it down.

Hand 19: Rob, still steaming, goes all-in with 9-9. Brian makes what I think is an excellent fold with A-Q. If he had lost, his stack would have been crippled.

Hand 20: Rob wins again with 8-8, Brian had made a "very bad call", but didn't stick around to the river. Matt did with 6-4, having paired the latter on the flop.

Hand 23: Mike takes it down when Brendan calls his $250 raise with Ah-Q, only to see it lose to Mike's J-9. The flop came out all-hearts, so Brendan would have taken it if one more came out.

First Break - Going up to 50-100. This was the leaderboard at the time:

Mike - 2560
Other Rob - 2535
Me - 2285
Matt - 1975
Brendan - 1630
Al - 1600
Brian - 1480
Niko - 1390
Rob - 1375
Joe - 705

Hand 25: Other Rob takes over the chip lead as Mike's $200 raise is called, but he folds on the flop of 8-4-2 to Rob's $400 raise. It ended up being a great fold, as OR showed K-K.

Hand 29: Mike takes it back by calling Joe's $300 raise, then taking it on the flop with a continuation bet.

I win hands 30 and 34, and all of a sudden it's looking real good for your boy.

Hand 35: For the second time today, someone with a pocket pair lucks out as the third of that denomination is accidentally exposed. Joe goes all-in for his last $760, Matt calls. Having seen the third Jack go bye-bye, Brian wisely folds J-J. Joe's A-Q beats out Matt's 4-4 when a Queen comes on the flop. Unfortunately for Brian, if that Jack hadn't been shown, he'd have won as the board was K-9-10-Q-9.

Hand 39: Fucking Niko. I call with Ks-8s, and Niko immediately goes all-in for his last $815. Matt goes all-in for $700, and Mike calls. Niko has A-8, Matt 8-7, and Mike A-J. Mike's Ace plays on a board of 10-5-5-K-6. Dammit, dammit, sonofabitch. Matt and Niko are felted in 10th and 9th.

Hand 40: I get A-K, and raise to $300. Mike and the Other Rob call. The flop was Q-10-8, two diamonds. I raise to $500, Rob re-raises to $1250. Well, shit. With only one diamond and a gutshot straight draw, I'm not risking my tournament life here.

Hand 41: Joe heads to the rail in 8th. I wasn't expecting that one, that's for sure. I'm splashing around with 3h-2h, Mike calls. Joe bets $400, Mike calls. The flop is 8-8-7, two diamonds. It's checked around, turn is the King of diamonds. It's checked again, and the river is the 4c. Joe goes all-in, and Mike calls. It was a gutsy call on Mike's part with 5-5, but he had the best hand - Joe shows A-Q. If Joe had went all-in on the turn, there's no way Mike could have reasonably called him, I think.

Hand 42: Rob puts his name in for the Laydown of the Night competition that seems to be going on. Brendan goes all-in for $1,010. Rob counts his chips and thinks hard about making a stand, but elects to fold his 7-7. Brendan is courteous enough to show his J-J.

Hand 43: Brendan doubles up through Mike - Brendan held A-Q and paired on the flop. Unfortunately for Mike, he had to call with Q-Q, and was a bit unlucky. Still, he could afford it, dammit.

Hand 46: Three hands later, Brendan's stack is crippled. This hand DEFINITELY was a television hand. Rob limps in...Al goes all-in for $725, Brendan goes all-in for $2090. Everyone else bounces, as you'd imagine. Rob shows The Weapons of Mass Destruction...Brendan shows Q-Q, Al shows 7-7. Immediately, Al starts berating himself (dude, it's getting late in the tourney, you're short-stacked, you had to make a move. He could have been limping with 3-2, for fuck's sake). Flop is 10-9-6, no help to anyone. Wouldn't you know it, but the turn is a 7. The river is a Jack, sending Brendan out. Al is STILL berating himself despite tripling up, and now Rob is absolutely spitting fire that his bullets didn't hold up. He told me afterwards that he would have won the tournament if he had won that hand, and honestly, he's right. I'd be pissed, too.

Hand 47: Yep - your hero crashed out of the tournament in 6th place. You will be shocked and amazed to know that it was from overplaying a medium-high holding. I wake up with 10-10, and bump it up to $600. Mike can't get his chips into the pot fast enough. The flop is 5-4-4, and I'm only thinking of that rather than what Mike is possibly holding. He bets $500, and like an idiot, I call. He's leading into the pre-flop raiser on a nothing board...what could he have that I was ahead of? I know he's aggressive and all, but I had barely played a hand all night...out of 47, I think I was seriously involved in the 5-8 range. The turn is a Queen, and I go all-in. He insta-calls, and of course shows A-A. I couldn't believe that they showed up in two consecutive hands, but I should have known I was beaten. I head to the rail, and deservedly so.

Hand 48: We're dropping like flies - Brendan is out in 6th. He goes all-in with 9-9, Other Rob calls with K-J. Sure enough, a King comes right in the door.

Hand 51: Brian doubles up through Mike. They had limped in, and saw a Qs-7c-5h flop. It's checked around through the turn and river, which are Ac and 5d. Mike tries to steal it for $500, Brian goes all-in for his last $930. Mike is pretty much pot-committed and had to call. Mike shows A-7, Brian shows 8-5 to the shock and laughter of the whole table. Long story short, Brian had his A-A cracked in Atlantic City by some douche-rocket that called a huge pre-flop raise with 8-5 off-suit.

Hand 52: Other Rob loses a decent amount of chips to his namesake when the Polish/Russian dynamo hit trips with his A-5.

Hand 55: Three hands later, the aforementioned dynamo is WAMBOOZLED and out in 5th (incidentally, Al does an amazing solo Chad Ford and Lon McEachern act). Brian opens for $500, Rob goes all-in. Brian calls with A-Q, which has A-J dominated. A Queen on the flop ends the tournament hopes of our host.

Hand 58: A further three hands later, the tournament all of a sudden finds itself Rob-free. Mike opens for $1000, Al and Other Rob call. The flop is Js-10d-7d. Mike bumps it to $2000, Other Rob is all-in for $1450 more. Mike calls and shows Kh-Jh. Other Rob showed Qs-Jc. The turn and river were no help, and Other Rob became the bubble boy in 4th.

Mike was pretty much a lock to at least make the money, but Al really caught fire after catching lightning in a bottle with that third 7. As for Brian, he wasn't in a ton of the "TV hands", but he kept his gambling tendencies in check and really picked his spots beautifully. He earned his spot in the money, that's for sure. At this point, the stacks looked like this:

Mike: 11,515
Brian: 3,510
Al: 2,475

Hand 62: Brian doubles up to make a contest out of it. Mike raised Brian's BB to $800, Brian goes all-in. Brian's Q-10 is comfortably ahead of Mike's 10-7, and as a big middle finger to the poor chip leader, Brian gets top two on the flop of Q-10-9. The turn was a 6, making it interesting...but a King fell on the river.

Hand 67: Al's tournament ends with a solid 3rd-place finish. His all-in is called by Mike, who must have been stoked to finally be dominating a hand after the last 3-4 times when he was on the other end of it. A-Q vs. A-10, and the Queen ended up playing.

Sadly, there was no Shana Hiatt or other gorgeous women to bring out the money and the bracelet (yes, Rob bought a bracelet online for the occasion). That said, luckily (as it was late and I was exhausted), the heads-up match didn't last long. Brian made it more interesting on Hand 70 when his K-6 held up for another $1000 in chips, but it was all over two hands later:

Final Hand - Hand 72: Mike goes all-in, Brian calls. Again, Mike is dominated, K-Q to Q-J. The flop is Q-10-9, and the turn is an Ace. The river is a King, winning the bracelet for the proud member of Team Ballin'.

All in all, it was a fun time and some good poker was played. Sooner or later, I want to get one of those bracelets as well and host the Pot-Limit Omaha event. THAT should make some interesting reading, anyway!

This is a placeholder entry...

Hi all:

For those that played in the tournament last night, I'll be blogging it tonight after my soccer games. In the meantime, I saw this quote over at Klopzi's Mediocre Poker (link over there on the right), and for the home game crew, you'll get a great laugh out of this...

Maniac's bet says - "I see three cards on the table and I happen to have two cards in my hand."

Thursday's session - back on the winning track

.02/.04 NL Hold'Em - 103 Hands - SB Played: 9-12 (75%) - BB Played: 9-13(69%) - Other Played: 20-77 (26%) - Total Played: 38-103 (37%) - Showdowns Won: 4-9 (49%) - Other Wins: 17 - Profit: + $2.40

I have a mini-tournament to play at a friend's house later tonight, so I'll keep this brief.

After that A-A vs. 8-7s debacle of the other night, it was good to get back onto the horse and get a winning session under my belt. I was up a lot more than $2.40 at one point, but I think all in all it could have been a lot worse. This was a table where, especially in the beginning, continuation bets were not respected at all. I had to adjust to that and slow down a bit, until things loosened up when some new players came to the table. I think I did a pretty good job of switching gears during the session, which is something I've actively been trying to work on. With that said, some hand highlights:

Hand 20: With J-6 in the small blind, I call along with a bunch of limpers. I flop trips, and of course, no one wants to play when I fire a bet out. I had been playing fairly loose to start, and there were loose players at the table. The flop was 6-6-2 rainbow so it wouldn't have killed me to give a free card. But, given the situation, I was sure that I would have gotten a few callers. Oh well. I'm not totally unhappy with that play.

Hand 30: Got 9c-6s in the SB, and the flop came Qd-Qh-9d. I bet .12 into a .16 pot, got one caller. The turn was 4h - I bet .24, and was re-raised for the guy's last .73. I know it was only .49 more into a pot of 1.37 (2.79:1), but I was 100% sure the guy had a Queen. I don't know why, it was just a feeling. I've seen players do this before with flush draws, but more often than not it's with a made hand at this level. On the off-chance he bluffed me out with a draw, fair play to him...but I have a feeling I was dead to two outs. Shit, even if he had just paired his 9, then I was still just about dead anyway.

Hand 35: Anna Kournikova strikes again. At this point, I was starting to get frustrated as I was missing flops left, right and center with fairly decent hands.

Hand 37: Two hands later, I wasn't in it...but the flop came A-K-6. Eat a dick, Sportsbook.

Hand 41: Wasn't in this one either, but some donk-show called a 5X BB raise with Q-7 off. Flop was J-9-8 rainbow, raiser bet .35, Donkey calls. Turn was a Queen, .55 bet is called. The call with the gutshot was awful, and the pair + gutshot wasn't much better considering what he was probably up against. But, the worst was when a 9 came on the river, he called another bet for $1.11! Wow! Basically, the only hands he was beating were A-J, K-J or J-10...none of which are obvious candidates for a raise that big (I do it rarely as a variation play, but that's it). Unsurprisingly, the raiser showed A-A. HAHAHAHAHA....whoopsy-daisy.

Hand 46: My biggest one-hand loss of the session came here. With Kh-Qh, I raised 3X BB in early position and got two customers. The flop was 10h-3d-2h, so I bet .20 at it. The SB folded, but the other guy popped it up to .50. I was getting 3.66:1 to call on a 4.1:1 shot, so I really should have folded right there. I didn't, however. The turn was a 5d, so I checked...no sense throwing good money after bad, and I wasn't bluffing anyone out with that card. He bet .70, and I went away. At the time, I thought it was a good fold on the turn at least, since I didn't have anything close to the correct odds to draw for the flush. Now that I look at it again though, this looks to me like he either had A-10/K-10/Q-10/J-10, or 10-10. If it were the latter, then only the flush would have been good. But, what if it were the former? I'd have 6 more outs, and all of a sudden the post-flop call was 2.06:1. Even with the .70 bet on the turn, it was a 2:1 call for 2:1 odds. In retrospect, I think this might have been an overly-tight fold.

Hand 48: This was just annoying more than anything else. I had 7-7 in the BB, and called a 2X BB raise. The flop was checked around, and I bailed on the turn when someone bet big into a board of Q-10-6-5. As it turns out, the guy who won the hand had 6-6, and you want to know why I didn't have a chance to hit a set? Because the prick who saw it down to the river had the other two!!! Are you KIDDING me?!

Hand 49: This was less annoying, and more grounds to commit justifiable homicide in a fair world. With Q-J in the SB, I raise to 4X BB...the BB calls. The flop was 9-6-4 with two clubs. I bet .20, he calls. The turn was the 7c, and it went check-check. In retrospect, a bet here probably would have won me the hand as I'd be representing a flush. The river was a 3 - I bet .36, and the guy calls. He shows A-6 and wins the hand. Unreal. The post-flop call wasn't the worst ever, and I guess me checking the river in some respect justifies his river call. But, how the fuck do you call that big of a raise with A-6?

Hand 52: Had to fold K-J pre-flop to a .32 raise from a tight player. Said tight player immediately checked to a K-8-2 flop, and then folded on the turn (10) to a .32 raise. Ugh.

Hand 54: Had As-3s and was forced to fold to a .18 raise (I mention this and the last hand because other than these, there was more limping going on than at a sports rehab clinic). Of cunting course, the third spade came out on the turn...and the guy who won the hand had A-A.

Hand 70: Had 3-2 in late position, and limped in with it. Flopped two pair, and re-raised the first guy 3X. Both guys call. A third club came out on the turn, and it was checked down the rest of the way. I do this ALL THE TIME...when a third flush card comes out, I immediately assume someone has it. Instead, some fuckstick with J-4 off-suit rivered his gut-shot straight.

Hand 76: I made up for a lot of these hands though where I had 9-2 in the BB, caught the 9 on the flop, and the 2 on the turn. I probably over-bet here though...a smaller bet than .36 may have kept someone in for the river. Oh well...still a .32 win, though.

Hand 77: Caught two pair with Kh-10h, and won an even bigger pot...around .80 this time.

Hand 79: I have Q-Q, and no one wants to play. Awwww...

Hands 81-84: I love these rushes where you win 3, 4 or 5 hands in a row. There are few other things in life that make you feel as much of a Golden God...perhaps the only thing that beats it is sleeping with a girl that is WAAAAAAAAY out of your league (and I've only managed that once, so this is usually more attainable). The biggest win of the lot was a .99 profit when I caught a set with 7-7. After I took down the next hand, I was at my high-water mark for the session at $6.96.

Hand 95: I lost a decent amount with A-Q when I fired off two continuation bets at the biggest calling station at the table. Man, I know better than that, too...but I get so ingrained into the "must...always...continuation...bet..." mode sometimes that I can't stop myself.

Hand 102: As usual, I lose a decent amount (.30 or so) right at the end of my session. I always do the honorable thing and play around through my blinds one last time instead of doing the cunty thing that most of these assholes do, and bounce right before the BB comes their way. I got 6c-4c in the SB, paired the 6, and lost .24 continuation-betting at it.

Sorry for the bare-bones post this time, but I had to get this out or there wouldn't have been a post. There'll be a better one next time...

80s cop movie cliche...

Hands Played: 152 - SB Played: 13-17 (76%) - BB Played: 13-18 (72%) - Other Played: 16-117 (14%) - Total Played: 42-152 (28%) - Showdowns Won: 4-7 (52%) - Other Wins: 22

You may be wondering, what do 80s cop movies have to do with poker? Well, remember how one of the most glaring cliches in those flicks was how the senior guy in the department was always right about to retire, and then contrives to get himself killed in some horrible fashion on their last day? That's what happened to me. The worst thing is, it's all my fault...I played excellent poker for one hour and 26 minutes, only for it all to be undone in one mad minute of stupidity and lack of focus. I don't even feel mad. I mean, how could I? A good player noticed my tendencies and exploited them, and worse than that, I allowed it to happen. I don't feel mad...I feel sick to my stomach. I know it's just $4, but it's the principle of it...and it's the competitive nature in me.

What's funny is that towards the end, I was already composing the blog post in my head, where I wanted to talk about a concept that I had utilized throughout the session. For just about the whole time, there were two players there who had much bigger stacks than everyone else, there was me (who was soon at at the second one's level...she was all right, not great...the first guy - the one that pole-axed me right at the end, and who was an excellent player apparently slumming it at this level - had $15 already when I first sat down), and then a revolving door of fish. Those fish were enough to feed the three of us, and that was my point. I was going to make a nice little post about how it's usually in your best interests to avoid getting into showdowns with bigger or similar-sized stacks unless you're really sure about your hand. I built mine up by muscling the fish around with continuation bets and with letting them donk off their chips when I had monsters. As it turns out, I DIDN'T FOLLOW MY OWN CUNTING FUCKING ADVICE, and ended up going busto myself. Well done, Sean...well fucking done.

I suppose I'll get the ending hand off my chest first, then I'll go into some of the hands from the previous action. I'm sitting with exactly $9.80 in chips in the SB, and pick up Ac-As (you knew it was fucking rockets, didn't you?). Mr. Stacks was in the BB, and a new player to his right posted another BB. There were two more callers, so I immediately pop it up to 5X BB. Stacks calls, the other BB folds as does one of the other limpers, but the second limper calls. Keep in mind that Stacks called another .16 in a pot of .40...that's just 2.5:1, for the record. The flop comes Jh-7d-2h. Other than the hearts, that's about as harmless as it gets, right? I bet $1.04, Stacks calls, the other guy folds. The turn is the 7s. I bet $2.48, as I was mainly worried about him hitting his flush (he had forced me out of a pot on the river earlier when the flush card hit, and I was 80-90% sure he had it). The turn also surely removed the 7-7 from the range of holdings, so right now, I figured I was only behind if he had J-J. The flush was the only thing I was super-worried about, and I was making him call the $2.48 into a pot of $2.76, so there was no way he'd be dumb enough to draw to his 9 outs there...not at 1.11:1.

Instead, he goes all-in for $15.96, which more than has my remaining $6.08 covered. Again, my thought process was only thinking about the flush, so I figured he was trying to make a play on me. So, I called. However, with the benefit of hindsight, let's analyze this a bit. J-J was DEFINITELY in his range of possible holdings, and this was someone who I knew was savvy enough to know that if he had a monster, I'd very likely fall into a trap with my aggression. However, this wasn't even aggression on my part, he was the one who went all-in! I could have easily gotten away from a check-raise, because then I'd be 85-90% sure I was beaten with J-J. Well, imagine my surprise when he turns over the fucking 8h-7h.

Oh. My. Fucking. God. Really? FUCKING REALLY?!?!?!?

Yes, he called 5X BB pre-flop with a suited connector...and he knew I was playing pretty much premium or marginal high hands, and that's about it (another thing I was going to get into was talking about how you can't go to a table and decide "I'm going to see 40% of hands today like I did last time"...every table is different and you have to adjust to it. However, I can't fucking think straight right now, so that's one for another time). Remember, his call was 2.5:1. Against any overpair he was a 4:1 dog, but then again, against two overcards he was around 3:2. I suppose it depends what he put me on. Anyway, the river didn't help, and away all my chips went. I guess my question is, even if I'm 50% sure he's making a play on me (if it was a normal donk, I'd have been out of there in nanoseconds since they NEVER make plays like that), is it worth it to call? This is one of those intermediate concepts that I'm afraid completely eludes me at the moment.

Oh, and just to complete the picture of idiocy on my part, I had started to lose focus towards the end, and I did have a Facebook window open during those last few hands. Really, Sean? I had even put up a status update of "Sean is pwning n00bs at the tables...hope this doesn't anger the poker gods." Seriously, why am I allowed to play without adult supervision?

Ugh. Anyway, I did play some pretty good hands before I decided that I was invincible and already counting my profit. Briefly, here they are, along with some other notable ones:

- This was a weird session for Big Slick. There were two hands (including me vs. Stacks) where A-K chopped with A-K, and another hand I wasn't in where A-A held up against A-K and A-K. Strange.

- I had rockets earlier in the session, and won a nice pot with them. In middle position, I raised them 3X BB with one limper behind me. Stacks and the BB called, everyone else went away. The flop was A-10-8 rainbow. I figured this was a rare slow-playing opportunity, so it checked around. The turn was another 10, so of course I checked it again. Stacks fired out .21, and was raised by the BB to .42. I call, and so does he. The river was a 7, not that it mattered. The BB bet $1.68, and I went all-in for my last $2.96. Stacks went away, and claimed that he knew then what I had. The BB called, and showed 10-2. Yep, he called 3X BB with 10-2 off-suit. All righty, then. Stacks claimed to have Q-Q, for what it's worth.

- A little later, one of the fishies at the table wrote the book on How Not to Get Paid Off When You Have Aces. He just smooth-calls pre-flop, along with some other people. On a board of Q-J-7-6-2, it was checked around by all parties the entire times! The guy with A-A didn't even make ONE bet at it! Even at this level, I can literally say that I've never seen someone check it all the way down and then show the Weapons of Mass Destruction. Yep, that's a first.

- On one hand, I was about to limp in with A-2 off-suit as a variation play. Luckily someone raised it up to .14 pre-flop, as the flop ended up coming A-K-2, all hearts. That would have been an interesting decision to make once the pre-flop raiser went all-in for their last $1.32.

- Here's another hand where Stacks pretty much had his way with the moron writing this. I get K-7 off in the BB, and I'm always going to call the extra .02 with almost any two cards. The flop comes 10h-7c-2s rainbow, so I bet .16 (the pot) at it. Stacks calls, everyone else is smart enough to bounce. The turn is the 7s, so I obviously feel like I have the best hand here. I bet .44, and he calls. The river is a 9s, and immediately I put him on a flush. What else was he calling me with? I guess it could have been A-10 or something, but since he was the BB in an unraised pot, it could be any old thing. I bet $1.04 because I still felt like there was a chance that my hand was good. He raised it to $2.08, so knowing what happened later, I would imagine he probably caught his flush. I went away, but I also can't help but feel like he was representing a hand rather than value-betting. I guess it's because I'm kind of shook right now, but I have a feeling he stole this one from me.

- I at least got it back and more 12 hands later. We were down to 7-handed briefly, so I liked my Q-J off in middle position. I raised to 3X BB, and two customers came along. The flop came Ks-9d-3c. One guy checked, so I raised to .32...one call, one fold. The turn was the 10d. I semi-bluffed .68 with my open-ender, because I'm pretty sure I had this guy (a loose, mediocre player) on 9-x. My customer stayed with me though to see a 8c river. He goes all-in for his last $1.12, and I of course call with my straight. He showed Kd-8d. Whoops.

- Later on, I ended up getting a boat with A-Q, but no one wanted to play. Shit, where was that douche-rocket Stacks on THAT hand?!

- Amusingly, in a hand I wasn't in, some guy went all-in for $7.57 pre-flop with two people in, after Stacks had raised to .16. Wow, really? The best player at the table is going to pay off your Aces with that bet? Good thinking, Sherlock.

- Anyway, those were the "TV hands". For the most part, I had just done a good job mixing up my pre-flop raises and firing off continuation bets at the right time. I suppose the very harsh lesson here is that your session is over once your focus starts waning...NOT at a preset arbitrary time.

The overwhelming strength of J-5 off-suit...

Sorry for the lack of updates in the last few days – I ended up having a busy weekend that didn’t involve much playing of poker (though I did read a chapter or two of Harrington and watched some on television), and last night I was super-tired and figured that wasn’t the best time or frame of mind to be playing. I did play in one $1 SNG on Sunday night though, and was fairly unlucky not to cash.

On the third hand of play, I found 3-3 in middle position. There was one raise in front of me, but only up to $40. For just 2X BB, I’m definitely calling that. Imagine my joy to see a flop of A-Q-3. The two picture cards were both clubs, so I was resolved to either take it down right away with a big bet, or get all the chips in there and see what happened. One of the pre-flop callers raised to $200, the original raiser just called, and I popped it up to $1000. That set the first guy all-in, and he called. The original raiser was the big stack (he had tabled someone on the first hand with a full house) then went all-in himself, to which I quickly called.

- The post-flop raiser showed Q-8 off, no clubs.
- The pre-flop raiser showed A-4 off, no clubs.

Thank goodness for the stupid. As if it were a message from the poker gods, the river was the case 3 to give me quads. Of course, I wish I had gotten quads on the river in a cash game against a big stack who had the nut flush, but I’ll take them in this case too!

That brought me up to $4,050 in chips, and admittedly I didn’t play my big stack well. I could have probably bullied some people around, but I generally prefer to semi-bluff rather than straight-out bluff against loose opponents. You saw what people were raising and calling with above, so I didn’t want to get too cute raising with absolute garbage.

I didn’t seriously play another hand until Hand 21, with 10c-8c. I figured I hadn’t played in a while, so let me pop it up to 3X BB (I was the initial raiser) and see what happened. Of course, I got four customers. The flop came Qs-Js-2h. One player checked in front of me, so I put out a continuation bet of $388 (1/2 the pot). One person folds, then another went all-in for their last $920. Well, shit. I of course muck, and so did everyone else.

Six hands later, it was down to four-handed. I only played one of those hands, won about $100 with Ad-9d. So, under the gun, I call with Jh-10h. I know I should have raised or folded…that was the kind of mental error that I made because I was tired…and least I was smart enough to only play a $1 SNG rather than risk any kind of money playing a cash game. The SB folded, so it was three-handed with me, the genius who raised with A-4 from the hand where I had my set, and one other player. The flop came 5-5-2 with no hearts, and was checked around. The turn was the 10d, Mr. Genius bet $175, and I called…the other person mucked. In truth, I had no idea what he had. The river was the 6h, and Mr. Genius bet $525. It looked like a steal attempt to me, so I raised up to $1,600. He re-raised me right back to $2,675, and given how much of an idiot donkey this guy was, I should have given up the hand right there. But no, I went all-in and he of course called.

Of course, he shows J-5 and sends me to the rail. This is why I try not to play when I’m exhausted, but even if I had raised pre-flop, this guy probably would have called me anyway. I’ll call it 60% poor play on my part and 40% shit luck.

Nice session at .02/.04 last night

Last night I had a nice little session at .02/.04 - I took the advice of those who told me to play at a level more appropriate for my bankroll, and it worked. I felt a lot more comfortable and despite some large up-and-down swings, finished with more than double my buy-in.

SB Played: 13-15 (80%) - BB Played: 11-16 (69%) - Other Played: 30-100 (30%) - Total: 54-131 (41%) - SD Won: 6-14 (43%) - Other Wins: 16 - Profit: $5.02

As mentioned, I brought a lot more of my home-game aggression into this session, and played about 10-15% more hands than I normally do online. At this level, I had always followed the Sklansky advice for low-limit online tables - play tighter and just try to show down better hands. The problem with that is because these people play such a large range of hands, and there's more bodies seeing the flop than normal, those bigger hands (K-J with the Jack paired, for example) don't seem to hold up as often as they should. This particular table had a lot of limpers with almost no standards for what to limp with. My game plan once I noticed that was to limp along with lots of marginal hands and then try to out-play them after the flop. Needless to say, I also tried to mix that in with raises...sometimes limping with big hands, sometimes raising with nothing. I fired lots of continuation bets - sometimes they went away, sometimes they hung around. Although I probably lost as much as I won on those occasions, I think it gave me a nice and loose table image that got me a few big scores when I ended up with Hammer of God-type hands.

Remember when I said I always do well when I get a nice pot early? On the first hand, I saw 7-3o, and paired the 7 on the Q-8-7 flop. I called a minimum bet, then called a raise for another .04. My roommate was railbirding for a second and questioned why - I was just explaining how I had the right odds to call when a 3 came on the turn. I probably fired too much at it with .80 - I had such a disguised hand, but with two diamonds and some straight possibilities out there, I guess I just wanted to know where I stood. Anyway, .52 to kick things off isn't bad!

After losing a couple with marginal high hands (my on-going nemesis), the 10th hand gave me As-Jd in early position. My 3X BB raise had two customers, flop was J-6-5 (all spades). With TPTK and the nut flush draw, $1.12 was immediately fired in. One guy hung around (all he had was 8c-5c...once again, thank goodness for the stupid). The turn was the 7d, and I checked as a kind of information check, I suppose. I was curious to see how much he liked what was out there, and he checked as well. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have let him see a free card, but I also didn't want to be re-raised out either if he had a made King-high flush. The river was a beautiful 9s, and I sent $1.16 out there. I wish I can say I did so in case his straight got there, but I didn't think of that at the time. He raised, putting me all in. I gleefully called, and took down $3.39 in profit.

One hand I hated - Q-9 from the big blind, I paired on the flop with A-Q-10. My .12 bet was called by two guys, and then I checked it down the whole way. I had one guy check in front of me on the harmless 3c turn, so I should have bet again to be sure of where I was with one other guy to act. Instead, the 8 on the flop gave the other guy a straight, and I called his .52 bet for a reason that I can't remember now. Let's just call it temporary stupidity and move on...

...to another monster hand won by yours truly on the very next deal. I did seem to luck out and win big pots right after losing big ones, so I didn't ever have any confidence dips. 10-10 in the SB, and my 3X BB gets two callers. The flop came A-J-10 rainbow, and it was full speed ahead from me. I guess because this was such a loose table, I just figured that if someone had K-Q or J-J, good luck to them. My .32 raise didn't knock out either guy, and a 6 came on the turn. I bet $1.38, one fold, one all-in for .56 more. No way I'm folding to that, and I was happy to see J-6 as his holding. No help on the river, thank you for your $2.63 donation...please come again.

I lost a tough one around 15 hands later or so. Ad-Jd on the button, 4X BB raise gets one caller. I had been pushing this guy around for a while, and he had started to push back. The flop was A-7-6, no diamonds. I bet .20, he raises to .40, and I call. I figured that could just have been a probe raise to see if I was stealing once again. Earlier in the session, he had re-raised me on the flop when I had nothing, and was kind enough to show his A-A when I mucked. The turn was a 3, and he fired in $1.18. Now, I had to think a bit. What did he have? He was a pretty good player at this level, so I don't think he had 7-6 or A-7 or anything. I had settled on A-10 or A-Q, but I went against my read and called. If I had more time than online gave me, I'd like to think I'd have included 7-7 and 6-6 in his range as well...I do now. The river was a Queen, and he immediately went all-in. At that point, I knew I was beat and quietly mucked my hand. If he had A-10 or A-J, well, he outplayed me...all there is to it.

Around hands 40-57, I was starting to lose more than I won with the aggression, and was down to $5.91. I got Kh-Qh and called a raise and a re-raise up to $1.20 (dumb, dumb, dumb, Sean...you know better than that). The flop was 6-5-5 with one heart, and a fairly loose player went all-in for $4.23. Maybe it was a bluff, maybe it was A-A, but I wasn't sticking around to find out - another guy did though with his A-Q, and he lucked out on Big Raiser Guy when he rivered his Ace against the other guy's J-J. That put me below $5 for the first time in ages, but I was back up to $5.21 on the next hand thanks to Anna Kournikova. Maybe she DOES win sometimes, after all!

From there, I hovered between the $5-$5.80 range...the pattern seemed to be that I lost .20-.60 with medium-high hands, and won about the same with absolute garbage thanks to aggressive betting. On Hand 98 though, I flopped a straight with 9-8 from middle position. It was the ignorant end of the straight mind you, but nothing pre-flop screamed out A-K from anyone. If they had that exact hand, good luck to them. The turn paired the Queen, and that should have made me more nervous than it did. Now, Q-10 and Q-J were ahead of me as well, and I could see people limping with that at this table. Instead, I just called a .13 bet (when a re-raise would have given me the info I needed). A harmless little 6 on the river, and someone bet .32. I doubled the raise, one fold, the original raiser called and showed Q-5o. Thank goodness for the stupid.

Four hands later, I was back up in the high-rent district. I had Ks-3s in the big blind, 3 limpers followed me into a flop of J-J-J. One guy checked, I bet .16, two folded. The checker called me for some reason. Now, he may have had a low pocket pair or maybe two high cards...I'm just not putting anyone on quads. A King appeared on the turn, and my only thought there was how to extract the money from this guy. I figured that at worst, we were chopping unless an Ace came off or something. He solves my problem by going all-in for $2.04, and I insta-call. Mr. Genius is drawing dead with Q-8o, and I accept the $2.12 donation graciously.

I reached my high point at $9.18 when my Q-Q held up against a short stack's 5d-2d (her open-ender didn't get there), then reached another at $9.40 with Q-10o when my continuation bet scared everyone off. I got up to $9.60 with K-Q when my King paired and no one wanted to play, but then I lost a series of small-to-medium pots over the next two orbits to finish at $9.02. All in all, I used this as an experiment in a more aggressive online style, and it obviously paid off for me. I know of course that doing this will result in larger swings, but I have 20 buy-ins at this level so I think I should be able to handle it mentally. I did all right in handling the ups and downs within this session, though I did also hit my cards more often than I didn't.

We'll see how this goes - I think I'm going to grind it out down here for a while until I have 20 buy-ins at .5/.10 ($200, and I'm at $80 or so now).

When the "maniac" ends up against REAL maniacs...

The gentleman who runs the Fish Food blog at Poker News (linky linky over there on the right) expressed his surprise a few days ago (in response to a comment I left there) that I was playing at a level where I only had 4 buy-ins. I didn’t really listen at the time, but I think I may have to drop down a level to .5/.10, even though I’ve done poorly there for the most part.

I have practically never sat a table like this – loose, insane, raises and re-raises flying in from all over the place. I lost a few cents here and there in the early action, but I didn’t have the kind of hands to play in the face of this insanity going on. There was this one guy who basically saw every flop that he could, and he ended up going from $20 to $60 or so very quickly when he won two consecutive pots that ended up with all the chips in the middle – he flopped a straight on the first hand with A-J, and got someone who had flopped two pair with K-10…the second, he called a 3X BB raise with 7-6o, and flopped a straight again. I’ve seen shit like this with this guy before too, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s a Sportsbook employee or something…I’ll put it that way (“trucker4u”, in case anyone reading plays at that room). Anyway, the other guy had J-9o, and couldn’t suck out for the higher straight.

I lost more than $10 on one hand, and that stressed me the fuck out (again, 4 buy-ins…I think that’s the problem). I got Qh-Jh in the SB…there were 5 callers in front of me, so I probably should have just folded the fucking thing. I ended up raising to .60 to get some of them out, and got three customers…including that trucker guy. The flop was K-6-2 with one heart. I don’t know why I did this with 3 people in there, but I made a continuation bet of $1.60. Two callers, one folder (hint: not the trucker guy). The turn is the 4h, and now I semi-bluff $4 with the flush draw. Shithead trucker guy re-raises to $8. With what he’s been playing (any two cards), I’m 99.9% sure that I beat him if my flush draw gets there. I’m of course 4:1 to get my flush, and a further $4 into a pot of $18.80 is 4.7:1, so I have to call. Of course, the river is a 5d. I had to check…if he was calling down this far, there was nothing about the 5 of diamonds that was going to make him go away…and with the GDP of Botswana in his stack, he’d call me if he had nothing, either. So, of course he bets $6.80 (.10 more than is in my stack), and I have to go away. Cynically, I wonder if he would have made that bet if my flush had gotten there. At this point, I’m wondering if he can see hole cards.

There was a time where I’d be so upset that I’d just leave the room immediately…I think that was a major contributor to a lot of the $200 I lost on Party a few years back. Don’t get me wrong, I was steaming and confused and doubting my ability to play at this table. Two hands later though, I got most of it back. In late position, I got Jd-10d. At this point, just about the whole table was limping on every hand and, at least 3-4 of them would call any raise out there. So, I limped in to see what happened. The flop came Jh-8d-3d. A good, solid player bet $1.20, and I immediately had her on 10-10 or Q-J or something. I call, and one guy I knew nothing about called. Stunningly, when I had top pair and a flush draw, the trucker shithead couldn’t muck his cards fast enough. The turn was a 5c, and Miss Solid bet $3. I still figured I had a good chance of being ahead with the Jacks, so I went all-in for my last $5.30 Both players call. The river was a gorgeous 10h. Miss Solid checks, and Other Guy goes all-in for his last $6.50. Solid quickly folds, and it’s off to the show-down. My two pair was quite good, as luckily Other Guy had called with Ad-6d. Now, at the turn, that was correct as he had to put in another $2.30 into a pot of $10.80…and the river bet was just to get Solid out in case for some reason his Ace-high was good. What a crushing blow for my confidence that would have been though if his flush had gotten there.

Such a narrow escape didn’t do much to help my mentality…I’ll admit it – I was intimidated by this table, and that is a very new thing for me. Practically the whole table would re-raise any time I put a bet on the flop…or, they’d call the flop (and the turn if I bet again), and then just jam a huge re-raise on the river. I don’t think I had the nuts a single time for the rest of the session, so I’d pretty much immediately fold. They had a read on me, and they were right to do so. I played another 50 hands, and ended up leaving with $15.65 of the $20 I bought in with. Considering the circumstances and how new the concept was of people not respecting my continuation bets, I’ll chalk this up to a learning experience, and a lesson in the fact that I have to control my emotions and not take one lost pot so hard.

$1 SNG with some friends – WE OWN IT, BABY!

My first inclination after last night’s success was to get right back on the .10/.20 horse and hope for some good hands to really get myself paid off. However, I got a text from my friend Joe right as I was about to sign on, so off to Sit-N-Go land I went. Honestly, I am a mediocre tournament player, as I mentioned yesterday. I’m not terribly comfortable with ever-escalating blinds, and most of my strategy is based on how I handle playing against a full table. I have ventured into SNGs before, and the best I’ve ever done is 3rd. Today, I went one better, but was absolutely clowned heads-up against my other friend, Josh.

Oh, and as you’ll see, I ended up being a total card rack tonight, and a run of cards like this in a ring game would have been like printing money in all likelihood. At the end of the day, though, this is supposed to be fun. And, I’d rather have some fun with friends if the opportunity is there…I think I’d be a rather sad excuse for a person if I didn’t.

On to some crucial hands:

Hand 3: Two off the button, guess what I wake up with? I haven’t held the weapons of mass destruction in ages, but here I am with Ac-Ad. The player in front of me raises to $140, and I am loving life. I call, everyone else folds, and we see a 7c-4d-3s flop. I knew right away I probably wouldn’t get donked out on with 6-5 or 7-4 or something…not with that pre-flop raise. Full speed ahead, captain! Mr. Aggressive bets $310, I call. Normally I don’t slow-play monsters, but there is absolutely nothing scary about that board. The turn is 6c, so now with two clubs out there, I’m resolved to get all the chips in. If he’s donking out on me, he’s going to pay for it. He saves me the trouble though, and bets $930. Interesting…why not all-in if that much? Typically, I consider that to be a sign of weakness as they want to at least have something if things don’t go their way. I had him on a lower pair or A-K here, so I put him all-in. He calls, and shows Qc-Qs. Awesome! He’s dead to two outs, and the 6s sends him home. On one hand, unless he put me on K-K or A-A, there was little for him to be afraid of out there. Then again, what did he think I called $310 with? I think the trouble is that a lot of donks do the all-in thing with A-A hoping that someone has a hand they like. It’s just that hand, really…any other monster is usually cause for check-calling all the way. So, I double-up nice and early...up to $3010!

Hand 5: The guy to my left, “skimwater”, calls my 60-cent raise (I had 8-8), as does Josh. Flop is A-Q-4, Josh bet $60 and skim raised to $120 on each street thereafter, with Josh calling each. My homie shows A-K, skim showed A-9. Wow. What do you think he was calling you with, bro? I pretty much had my read on this guy right there, and as I’ll explain later, he became quite the irritating little lunatic.

Hands 8-11: Skim goes nuts, betting and raising with ludicrously-high turn bets on all these hands. He’s up to $1953 for hand 11. I fold my awesome J-2, four callers to a 10s-9s-9c flop. Early-position guy pops it up to $150, skim calls, everyone else flees. The turn is 6d, the original bettor puts in $225, skim goes all-in, other guy calls. The original bettor shows 4c-4d, skim shows 10h 7c. The river is As, and the first guy is gone. I have no words…how did he not put him on A-10, K-10, Q-10 or J-10? He liked his 7 kicker that much? Really? Anyway, Skim won hand 12 as well, so he was at $3430 at that point to my $2840.

Hand 14: I didn’t win as much with them this time, but I see Ac-Ad in early position. I raise to $60, with visions of Skim raising all-in in my head. He folds, and Joe is my only customer in the BB. Let me just say that he and my friend Al are almost incapable of being trapped. Al has dodged bullets on quite a few occasions in my presence, and Joe is a survivor…his instincts (and Al’s) are almost always spot-on (especially in comparison to the author). The flop comes 5s-2s-2d. I have no idea what Joe has, as he checks. I don’t want him catching anything with random spades, so I bet $60 to see what happens. He goes away, leaving me with just a $75 profit. Every time I get a monster against those guys, I feel like a vaudeville villain trying to tie them to the railroad tracks. Curses, foiled again.

Hand 15: OK, this is almost not fair. Under the gun, I get Ah-Ks. I raise up to $90, and a previously-quiet player calls a few seats ahead of me. Everyone else bids adieu. The flop comes Jh-3s-2s. With two overcards and the potential for a runner-runner second-nut flush, against one caller, the continuation bet is automatic. Quiet Man calls. The turn is an absolutely beautiful Ad. I bet $360, he calls. What the hell is he calling me with? I have no idea, but I’m confident in my standing in the hand. The river is the Qs. I admit that I was a little cavalier here and wasn’t really thinking too much about what he had…if he had A-J, Q-J or J-J, I was just going to have to pay him off. In retrospect, I’m amazed that I wasn’t a little more frightened of the flush draw that was completed on the river…you can see how I overplay the shit out of top pair-top kicker sometimes. I bet $240 (OK, guess I was at least a little nervous), he calls and shows 5s5c. Man, thank fucking goodness for the stupid. On the next hand, the Skim All-In Special sent him to the rail when his 9-6 beat Quiet Man’s K-9 when the 6 came on the flop.

Hand 21: The guy directly to my right is knocked out by, well, Guess Who. He held J-J, the flop came J-7-2. The other guy ended up having A-J, so the result was inevitable. When another 7 hit on the turn, Skim’s ridiculous over-bet was called and that was that. That’s great, but what about the other 90% of the time when the other guy quietly deposits his hand in the muck? He and I are the big stacks, he leads $5,670 to $3,710.

Hand 22: My 10c-10s is good enough for a $150 raise (25/50 blinds), which Skim calls. The flop is Jh-8h-7s. I bet $325, he raises $650, and I insta-call. Honestly, I didn’t believe he had much other than maybe a flush draw or perhaps second or third pair. The turn comes Js, and he immediately throws in $1,625. Well, that made my decision easy, didn’t it? If he had put out a teaser bet, I almost certainly would have called (with two Jacks out there, there was less chance he had the third), and I maybe even would have raised. Instead, this was an easy fold…I’m at least tournament-savvy enough to wait for a better spot when I’m safely in second chip position with 74 BBs. I show my 10-10 to let him know I’m capable of folding it, and he was kind enough to show his J-2. Yes, he called a 3x BB raise with J-2 off-suit. No, I don’t know why either. At this point, our boy Skim is starting to royally get on my tits. It’s $6,495-$2,910 now, but I’m still in decent shape.

Hand 24: Skim raises to $100 pre-flop, Random Anonymous Guy 2 is his only customer. The flop is 9-4-4, RAG2 checks, and Skim goes all-in for $6,295. Err, OK. What exactly was he going to call you with? The inevitable fold is met with a showing of Ks-Qs. Cheers, thanks for the free information.

Hand 27: Skim wins the next two (I have to give it to him, in a crazed sort of way he’s playing his big stack pretty well), and he raises this one to $100. I re-raise to $250 with Kc-Qd, he calls. Flop is 6s-5d-3h, and he checks. Huh, that’s odd. I throw out $575, and he goes away. Well, that was uncharacteristic. At this point, I was beginning to think that he had a deliberate game plan and as much as I hate to admit it, it was working. It was hard as hell to put him on anything, that’s for sure. It’s not how I’d play because all it takes is someone waking up with a monster hand to send you packing, but he was accumulating chips like mad. The smart thing to do at that point would probably be to change gears and slow it down for a few orbits before picking up speed again. He wasn’t that smart, though.

Hand 28: Speaking of changing gears, Josh starts to pick up speed, and wins a nice pot off of Random Anonymous Guy 1. With that, he overtakes me for second place.

Hand 29: My lucky number is 29, it was my hockey number in high school, it’s my soccer number now. It also was the hand where RAG2 proved to be…a bird? A plane? No, it’s SUPERDONK! I find Qs-Qc in the BB. RAG2 calls, Joe raises to $150, I pop it up to $600 (I really, really don’t want A-x beating me). RAG2 calls, Joe (having possession of a brain) goes away. The flop comes 6c-5h-3s. While you do have to spare a thought for what this guy is calling with, this is a tournament and you do have to accumulate chips sometime. I still had $1,220 if all the chips went in, so I figured this was a good spot to go on the attack. I bet $500, and he goes all-in for $1,140. I go into the tank for just about the whole 15 seconds, and I considered using my extra time. However, at the end of the day, I was still 24.5 BBs to the good if I guessed wrong, so I couldn’t justify a fold. Good thing too, because Mr. Genius shows 2c-2h. Now, if a 4 had come off, I wouldn’t be writing this right now as I would have probably had a stress-induced heart attack. Instead, the turn and river were 9s and As, leaving me with a clean bill of health and an extremely healthy chip stack. Down to 5 players, I was second again - $6,470 to $4,775.

Hand 33: Joe was down to his last $495, but Skim doubled him up when his A-Q unluckily got beat by 10-7 when the 7 paired. Seriously, you can’t kill this guy.

Hand 34: Chip leader, baby! Still at 25/50, I get 5c-4c in the BB. Skim calls out of the SB, everyone else bolts. The flop comes Kc-7c-6c. Wunderbar! However, who the hell knows what this maniac next to me has, so let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks yet. I bet $100, he raises to $400. I was slightly concerned, but also fairly certain that he was capable of re-raising with total squadoosh. The turn was 10h, Skim bets $450 and I call. I suppose at this point, I made the decision that he didn’t have a higher flush. The river was 3s, and he bet $900. Normally sequentially-increasing bets are a fairly reliable indicator of strength, but I just didn’t buy it for some reason. I trusted my read and called (notice I didn’t re-raise, hedging against the possibility that I was being roped in). He showed Kh-7d for two pair, so my flush was good. I took down a monster pot, and now led $6,625-$4,175.

Hands 35-41: Josh changed gears brilliantly once it became four-handed, and he basically traded these with Skim. I ask him via this very public forum whether he’s also a disciple of the Harrington school, as he seems to advocate the “tight early, loose late” strategy. Skim had $4,375, but Josh was knocking on the door with $3,360. Joe was on life support with $640.

Hand 42: Speaking of Joe, he went all-in (it’s now 50/100). I had Ad-8d, and figured it was probably ahead of Random Desperate Short-Stack Hand. Well, not exactly. He had Ac-8c, and not surprisingly we chopped it. Apparently, you have to shoot the creature directly in the head, or else it keeps on shambling towards you in its quest for delicious brains.

Hand 44: Joe raises again in hand 43, and my J-2 isn’t worth a call. This time, Josh calls his all-in raise, and it was the classic race: Josh with 8-8, Joe with Q-J off-suit. A Queen hit on the flop, and Joe doubled up once again. This hand has been brought to you by the Umbrella Corporation.

Hand 47: Josh closes the gap on me with a timely all-in bet. I got 10-10 in the BB, and he raises to $300 from the SB. No one else plays, so we’re off to the flop which comes K-8-5 rainbow. I check (I don’t know why, that’s almost always continuation-bet time from me), he bets $300, and I call. I don’t know why that was worth a call if it wasn’t worth a bet in the first place. The turn is a 7 – I bet $700, and he goes all-in with his last $2,195. I’d still have $3,005 if I called and lost, but it didn’t seem like a great spot to risk relinquishing the chip lead. If I remember correctly, I figured there was a 25-30% chance he was on a total bluff, and a 70-75% chance he had 5-5, 8-8 or any King-Other Picture Card hand. Risking $2,195 into a pot of $1,900 when I could very easily be dead to two outs (or drawing dead if he had K-K, a reasonable holding in this scenario) is not something I generally look for in a hand. I gracefully made my exit, and he took over second place with over $4,000 in chips for the first time. If that was a bluff, I take my hat off to you…it was a great one. And, because it’s not every other hand like SOME people in this tourney, I’m much less likely to call if you were bluffing. Well done.

Hand 49: Josh raises first to $300, Skim calls. Flop is K-5-3 with two clubs. Skim bets $650, Josh re-raises to $1,500. I was shocked, but Skim went away. As much as I was picking on him before, I think he was really a pretty good player, and we were just all irritated by the success of his style. He smartly folded here, and Josh was now less than $500 behind me.

Hand 50: One of Josh’s few mistakes – he called a re-raise from Skim on a Q-10-10 board. Interestingly, Skim checked it down the rest of the way, and showed J-10. Josh showed 3-3, which I think were slightly over-played after the flop. That worked for me, though…I was $1,000 ahead again.

Hand 52: With 8-8 on the button, only Joe calls my $300 raise. I hit my set on the flop with a Q-8-6 rainbow board, and it went check-check. The turn was a 7, and with two hearts out there I picked up a little speed (I think I pick up too much speed on the turn in this situation…maybe?). Joe bet $400, and my re-raise to $1,200 chased him away. That would have set him all-in, and I suppose it would be hard to expect him to have A-Q or K-Q when he checked the turn.

Hand 53: With K-10 off-suit under the gun, I raise to $300. Joe goes all-in for $980, and I fold. In retrospect, that’s probably virgin-cheerleader tight before the flop. Skim calls with K-3 off-suit, and Joe’s A-J off-suit holds up when all five cards miss them both. Joe is now past normal zombie status and now resembles that fucking thing from Resident Evil 2 (or is it 3?) that shows up more often than Jason Vorhees and mumbles “Staaaaaaaaaaaars”. Ugh. Moving on…

Hand 54: I get K-10 again in the BB now, and fold it again to Joe’s $400 raise. Josh calls, but can’t stand the heat of Joe’s continuation bet (flop was J-7-3 with two spades). Don’t look now, but Joe’s in third!

Me: $5,550 – Josh: $3,695 – Joe: $2,910 – Skim: $2,845


Hand 55-57: Skim re-awakens, and wins all three hands with some solid continuation bets and re-raises. He goes from 4th to 2nd just that quick.

Hand 58: I call people donkeys pretty often here, but as much as I can dish it out, I can take it too. The name of this blog is what it is because at different points in my poker career (hell, even in one session), I feel I have been all three of those. This time, I was a lucky, lucky donkey, and the shamrock-covered horseshoe up my ass sent Skim to the rail.

I found Qs-9d in the BB, and called Skim’s raise from the SB up to $300. The flop was Ah-Qc-7d. He checks, I make the $300 information bet, and he goes all-in for his last $4,645. Now, I’d like to say that I went into the tank for ages and came up with some brilliant thought process to justify my call. As it turns out, I just felt like he had done this too often for my liking in the second quarter of hands that were played, and he had shown in the past that he was capable of doing so with bluffing. I also felt he was capable of doing so with third pair, or a tiny pocket pair. This was a hand where the math went out the window, and I went entirely on my gut about the player. As it turns out, I was dead wrong...I called damn near instantly and my heart sank when I saw his Ac-3h. With no flush or straight possibilities, I was dead to 5 outs, meaning he was an 82% favorite to win the hand. Well, for fucking once, I got to donk out on someone else for a change, as the miracle 9 spiked on the turn, and the river was a blank. I would have been down…I DESERVED to be down to my last $155, but instead Skim was out and I rejoiced in the fact that not only did I definitely cash, all three friends had survived into the money. Nice.

Hand 67: I sat on my giganto-stack for a while, resolving not to play unless I had a strong hand. Joe and Josh traded some wins, until Joe re-raised Josh’s $450 pre-flop bet (75/150 now) all-in for his last $1,860. Josh called, and showed Kc-7c against Joe’s Jd-10s. Two Kings came out on the flop, and just to add insult to injury, the last two streets both were fives to fill up Josh’s boat. Joe went to the rail, as Hogie finally found the rocket launcher to slay the zombie-demon-beast-awful metaphor-beast.

Hand 68: I won a heads-up hand! I really, really did it! All by myself, with no one else’s help! Sadly, this was the last one. I raised to $450 pre-flop with Qd-6h, Josh folds.

Hand 69: I have Jd-5c in the BB. Josh raises to $450, I decide not to be pushed around and call. The flop is A-4-4 rainbow, and I decide to check-fold and wait for a better spot. I probably should have looked into that strategy in the next hand as well.

Hand 70: I have Qh-2d in the SB. He raises to $450, I call. The flop is 10-8-5 with two clubs. He makes the $450 continuation bet, and at this point, I kind of lost my mind and decided that OMG MUST MAKE STAND. I re-raise to $1,350, and at the very least he went into the tank for a bit. Unfortunately, when he came out, he re-raised to $2,750. Dammit shit fuck motherfuck shit shit shit. I can’t take the heat, and fold. He now leads $8,855-$6,145.

Hand 71: I have 4c-3h in the BB. He raises to $450, and I muck quickly. I am getting frustrated now.

Hand 72: I call with Ac-2h in the SB. He actually does not raise, so the flop comes Qh-5c-2s. He checks, and that won him the tournament right there. I bet $150 as a kind of teaser type bet because heads-up, it’s so hard to hit flops that I was sure I was ahead (especially with no pre-flop raise and the post-flop check, I at that point eliminated any Queen holdings). Josh re-raises to $450, and I immediately double it to $900. I imagine Josh knew right here that I was hooked on the line, and not going anywhere. Yes kids, I decided to go to war with third pair despite the maxim “Never go broke with a Queen in your hand”. Don’t look at me, I never make it to heads-up so I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here! Josh re-re-raises to $3,000, and I call. Yep, at this point, I’m pot-committed. The turn is a 5h. At this point, I eliminate any holding Josh might have that has a 5, just going by the odds. Again, I was convinced he didn’t have a Queen for the reasons already stated. Josh set me all-in, and really, at this point I should have changed my mind about the Queen, mucked this piece of shit hand, and set about trying to grind my way back into it. Instead, I called, and took it on the chin when he showed Qd-4c. Just as a big, giant middle finger to your fearless correspondent, the river was another Queen. Well fuck you too, Sportsbook.

Honestly, Josh played an almost flawless tournament and deserved to win it. I remember him posting some hands he played to the message board we all post at last year, and thinking he had a loooooooooooong way to go. Fast-forward a year, and here he is teaching me a lesson in heads-up tournament poker. I think I’m getting better at this version of the game, but I feel like a UFC fighter that has the tools but doesn’t know how to finish fights. Josh seems to be a fairly deadly finisher, and that was about as one-sided of a heads-up match as you’ll get. It had some shades of Fedor vs. Sylvia, really. Heh.

Anyway, I profited almost as much with this as I did in my 90-minute session at .10/.20 last night, so it’s not all bad. Until next time!

Great session last night! (Warning - this is long)

After this weekend’s debacle, I actually had a good session on a .10/.20 table at Sportsbook today. I struggled with the starting hands I got, with almost no pairs and no premium hands at all other than an A-Q I had to fold after an awful flop. But, I played very smart – I got away as cheaply as possible from bad hands, I stole when I could, and I correctly folded hands like Q-J and A-x suited in poor positions. The 30-cent wins I got almost entirely from continuation bets allowed me to hang around long enough to hit a miracle flop right at the end of my session (I had a hard stop of 10:30 today, which sucks…after I hit that hand I could have run this table over for a while afterwards and perhaps profited even more).

The thing is, you have to pick the right table to suit your style. The stats they show on the lobby page should be of utmost interest to the serious micro-stakes player…if you like to steal and make continuation bets, you need a table with a low percentage of players seeing the flop and a low average pot size (like this one was). If you like to see a lot of flops with suited connectors and the like and are sure that you get away from hands when someone’s donked out on you, you want the high flop-percentage tables with the large average pot sizes.

The stats didn’t lie with this table – there was more checking going on than in a Charlestown Chiefs game. I’m not kidding – I got *five* walks in this one session alone! The play was so passive as to defy belief, which is exceedingly strange at the micro level. Not only that, but the table was comprised of mainly Chinese players for most of the time I was there, so I wonder if there was some kind of communal respect thing going on or something. Actually, I have to admit at first that I was afraid of collusion because there were two groups of three people all from the same town, but in the end it didn’t seem to go down that way. Despite the fact that the table did at times spasm into a frenzy of raises and re-raises, it would quickly go back to normal. My continuation-bet strategy worked like a charm considering the crappy hands I was getting stuck with, and it was quite a nice break that when I finally did hit that miracle flop, it was against a player who had shown some loose-aggressive tendencies during the session (it’s so important to watch the action as much as you can and not get distracted with other stuff).

All of that said, here are some of the notable hands from the session. Not all will include me, but I’ve condensed the hand histories into short summaries to keep this at a readable length.

- Here’s one example of the check-calling nonsense (albeit with a crazy river) that I was talking about in previous posts. I had Qh-3h in the small blind, and I called along with five other people. Flop was Jd-8s-6s, no help to me with my hearts. One guy bets .20, he gets three callers while my cards go to the muck. Turn was 3c, three check, but one bets .65 (not the person who bet on the flop). One caller survives to see the Ah river. The guy who hadn’t raised once goes all in for $18.95, the .65 raiser calls for his last $3.40. Umm, OK. Turns out crazy river man had 8h 6c and had flopped two pair, but his stupid check-call routine allowed the other guy to catch the Ace on the river and win with his As-Js. Nice shootin’, Tex…especially because you could have lost with any spade on the river, too. So, you gave someone with a 2.28:1 shot to win two free cards to beat you. Awesome. Meanwhile, I have to say I like the .65 turn bet from that one guy. He could have taken it down right there if everyone had whiffed, and he had outs if someone hadn’t.

- I wonder if this was too tight a fold on my part. I had Qc-Js in middle position, and it’s folded around to me. I open for my standard raise to .60, one guy folds, another person in middle position (this is the crazy person who would eventually succumb to my full house, but she hadn’t exhibited those tendencies yet) raised to $1 total. I call, everyone else folds. The flop is Kh-Kd-8c. I check, she bets .20, and I fold. She hadn’t raised a whole lot previous to that, so I had A-A, A-K, A-Q and even A-10 in her range of holdings. All of those would beat me, along with the rare case that she had a King. It just smelled like a string-along bet to me, although there is to me a 50% chance that it was a post-oak bluff. While the usual donk move is to check-call all the way down, the second-most common ploy is these tiny little bets in the hope that you catch something and then bet big at it. I decided discretion was the better part of valor here, though I can’t help but wonder if a tiny re-raise to .40 or so wouldn’t have given me the information needed to be sure.

- Here’s a bit of aggression that should be a part of any serious player’s repertoire. I’m in the big blind with Kd-Js. There’s one caller, so I raise it up to .60. They call, and the flop comes 4s-4c-4h. I immediately bet .40 at it (not a crazy amount, I’ve learned from the situations I’ve mentioned in previous posts). The caller immediately folds. See, there’s almost no risk here – if they call or raise, you know you’re beat and it’s an immediate check-fold situation from there. But, if they don’t have a pocket pair or the case card, then you’ll take it down a lot more often than not…even at this donk level.

- I wasn’t in this hand, but here’s another example of how timid this table was. Pre-flop, there’s one caller and the BB checks (the SB folded, which is horrible…for half a bet, you should call with almost any two cards). Flop is Kh-Js-6s. Both guys check. Turn is Ah, both guys check. River is 7s, both guys check. The caller shows Qh-Jh to win, the BB shows Qs-7h. Wow…no one had the balls to bet on this at all? Not once? Not even with all those checks? With only one overcard to your hand, I think you have to bet on that flop with your Jack paired. This guy is a ridiculously-tight player (I recognize him from other sessions), but that is just insane…it’s like virgin-cheerleader tight. I mean, what if the BB has A-x, and the free card you allowed him to see ends up beating you? Awful, awful, awful.

- Here’s another episode of Donkerpiece Theater in a hand I wasn’t in. There’s one caller, SB folds (super-tight guy from the last hand), and Crazy Girl in the BB checks. Flop comes 6s-3s-2d. Crazy Girl checks, caller bets .20, Crazy Girl calls. The same pattern happens on the turn and river, which are 6h and Jd. Crazy Girl shows As-2h, the caller shows 10h-3h. Isn’t this amazing on about 37 different levels? First of all, you have someone calling with 10-3 (“…but it’s SOOTED!”). Next, you have someone who tenuously hits a flop but only pussy-raises at it the rest of the way. Meanwhile, you have Donk McDonkerson just smooth-calling with middle pair, which happens to be THREES. What a clusterfuck of bad play this was, eh? One raise…ONE RAISE would have won this hand either way. Wow. Moving on…

- And the hits just keep on coming! Four callers to the flop (Crazy Girl folds the SB), flop comes Jh-7s-3h. Everyone checks. Turn is 9d, everyone checks. River is Qh, one guy bets .20, one person calls, the others go away. One shows Kd-Qc, the other Ks-Qs. Considering both people hit their Queen with a nice kicker on the turn, how the holy jumping fuck was there no action on either that street or on 5th? Nimrod A and Nimrod B chop a pot that either of them at least had a chance of winning with a raise or re-raise to at least represent that they had A-Q or something. Outstanding.

- Now I’m back in a hand. While I’m not complaining, what are you calling with if a continuation bet makes you go away on this flop? I’m 3 off the button and get Qc-9c. I hadn’t played a hand in two orbits I think, so I pop it up to .40 to try and steal the blinds. I also do this at times because if I get a good hand soon after, I’ll get some action on it. I get one customer, and the flop comes As-5d-4d. I bet .60, and the caller goes away. Hmm. So, you didn’t have an Ace, or you’d check-call me all the way down. You didn’t have any kind of draw, didn’t think to represent one, and probably didn’t have any picture cards at all. What do you guys reckon they had? I’m going to go with 9-8 off-suit.

- Another one I’m in caused a bit of a conundrum for me. I think he had his flush, but what do you all think? Was he stealing? Why so much? Is it a normal donk over-betting move, expecting me to likewise donk away chips because I have a pair?

I’m in the BB with Ks-9d. Three callers come along with me (the SB folded AGAIN) for a flop of Js-7h-4s. It’s checked around for a turn of Kh. Despite my mediocre kicker, you all know me…full speed ahead with a .60 bet. Two go away, but one guy calls. The river is the 5s. I fire .60 at it again, and the guy raises all the way up to $5.50. There was only $2.60 in the pot, so doesn’t that seem strange? However, with just top pair and a middling kicker, I sure as hell wasn’t going to pay him off to find out. I think he had the absolute nuts with an Ace-high flush, but maybe he was trying to protect an A-K holding or something? Either way, I will defend this fold as the right way to go.

- Here, was it proper to draw to the flush here to begin with? At the very least, I realized the danger and got the hell out of there.

I get Kd-Jd on the button, and bump it up to .60. I get four customers to a flop of 7d-3d-3h. Nothing is scaring me there and I have the second-nut flush draw. The BB checks, one guy bets .20, the third folds, and the fourth raises to $1.90. This seems highly suspicious to me, and the BB folding means I had a tough pot-odds decision to make in 15 seconds. Specifically, I had to call $1.90 into a pot of $5.10. That’s 2.68:1, but keep in mind that you have to put the Ace-high flush draw among his holdings there. On top of that, there was still one person left to act. I ended up calling, and the other guy did as well. The turn was 2s. The non-raiser checked, and the raiser bumped it up to $2.20. Now, it’s $2.20 into a $7.30 pot, or 3.31:1. But, I know it’s 4:1 to catch your flush with one card to go, and I still felt like the guy doing the raising was on the Ace-high draw. Admittedly, I wasn’t even considering what the other guy had. However, I heard alarm bells ringing and slipped quietly out the back door with a fold. The second guy called for his last $1.90. The raiser ended up having 10h-10s, and for my money did a great job of protecting his hand against the flush draw. There were no overcards, so he played it perfectly. The guy who called ended up having Ad-10d, and lost when the river came 5c. Believe me, I felt great at having folded when I did once I saw what the other guys had!

I actually had put the guy with 10s on the A-high flush draw, but either way, I saved myself a lot of money here. This was played well by me and by the guy who won it…but was it proper for the other guy to donk off the rest of his stack?

- This was one of the few real mistakes I made. I got 3h-3d under the gun, and made the call. The SB called, the BB checked. Flop was 4s-5c-5d. Both blinds checked, so I fired a continuation bet of .60 at it (this wasn’t the mistake, though .40 would have gotten the same information). SB folds, BB calls. The turn is 10d, and it goes check-check. Should I have bet there? Honestly, I don’t think so…he called the more-than-pot-sized bet on the flop, so he had something he liked. I was a bit worried about the check-call routine, so I’ll argue that checking was the correct option. The river came 2h, he bets .90, and I called.

Here’s the thing. What could I possibly have beaten there? If he has any pocket pair other than 2-2, I’m toast. If he hit anything on the flop or turn, I’m beat. Essentially, the only thing I was ahead of was a busted diamond draw, a busted straight draw or unpaired high cards. If it was any of those, the usual donk move is to make a post-oak bluff of .20 and hope to hell that the other guy folds. In that case, I may even have raised. However, he not only ended up betting out at it (which is strange enough for these people and usually an indicator of a monster). but it was the 1/2-pot button on top of that (which we all know is another tell of strength). Calling this was poor on my part, and I deserved to lose as much as I did.

- I wonder how tight of a fold this was. I got Kd-Js in the SB, one guy calls. I raise to .60, the BB folds, and the one caller doubles my raise up to $1.20. I thought about it for 5-10 seconds, and elected to let it go. A couple of things played on my mind here. First, this was one of the lesser players at the table, and I don’t think he was capable of a re-raise without a rocket launcher of a hand. Second, my self-analysis had conclusively proven that I have a giant problem with overplaying marginal hands such as this. Third, I have a sinking feeling that the main difference between Fold and Call here was the fact that my cards weren’t SOOTED…if they were, I think I may have made the call…bad or not.

- So, I’m down to $13.40 in chips, and I get 9s-8d one off the button. This is a hand that I’d always call with in this position if it’s suited, and sometimes I’ll do it in this case when it isn’t. I kind of thought about it, but I folded it pretty quickly. What was the flop? Of fucking COURSE, it was 9c-9d-8h. If you saw my face at that moment, you wouldn’t be able to tell if I was playing poker or watching the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan. It turns out one guy had Ah-Qd, the other 7c-6s. I *definitely* would have gotten action on this one, too.

- Know how I have been talking about Crazy Girl for this whole post? This was the exact hand when I determined that she was insane, and that I could extract a lot of money from her if I happened upon the right situation. I’m on the button with Ac-9d, and since I hadn’t played a hand really in 2-3 orbits, I popped it up to .60. I was just trying to steal the blinds, really. Crazy Girl calls in the BB. The flop comes 10s-3h-3c. She checks, so I am legally bound by my possession of two testicles to make the continuation bet…so, .60 goes into the pot. She takes about 2.1 nanoseconds to muck her hand. OK, so riddle me this, Batman - what could you have that you’re willing to call 6X the BB pre-flop, only to shot-put your cards into the muck the second a 10-3-3 flop comes out? I don’t even know…did she put me on A-10? A rag hand with a 3 in it? Admittedly, I did a pretty good job of raising with enough different hands to exactly .60 so that maybe there was some confusion there, but I had also been stealing blinds from the button and the BB all night. I’m pretty much mystified with this one.

- Here’s a quick one that I hope shows that I’m starting to learn about marginal high hands. I get Ad-10d two off the button, but a tight player opens for $1.10 three seats before me. Everyone, including me, mucks their hand. Sorry, I’m not calling that much for probably just my 25% or whatever chance of hitting my flush.

- Finally, the hand that finished off my night on the positive side of the ledger! My roommate was watching me play for a good portion of the session to get a sense of what .10/.20 was like, and he ended up ensuring that I didn’t do something stupid at the end.

I got Ac-4c in the BB, Crazy Girl calls, the SB folds and the BB checks. The flop comes 4s-4d-3d. To quote Vince Van Patten, “Showtunes are going off in his head, Mike! He can’t believe his luck”. I check the flop, something I had pretty much only done when my intention was to check-fold the rest of the way. I figured that would get Crazy Girl out of her shell even if she had nothing, which actually wasn’t the case (even better!). She fires out .40, and I pretend to think for about 10 seconds before calling. The turn is a Js, and I check again. Normally I wouldn’t slowplay a monster, but there is little here that I was afraid of so far. If she had J-J, I was just going to pay her off. She bets $2.10, and I fire an immediate re-raise to $4.20 using the auto-button. I hope to hell she hadn’t read that it’s usually a sign of strength, and I guess she hadn’t because she insta-called. The turn was As, and I audibly groaned and said “shit, she probably has a flush!” I guess I’m so conditioned to losing at times that I let it get into my head…I probably would have noticed in a second anyway, but I was grateful to him for pointing out that I had actually just been gifted with the absolute stone-cold nuts. Let this be a lesson to all of you – don’t get so mentally down that you just assume you’re going to lose all the time…because that shit will QUICKLY become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Anyway, what would you do now in this case? You have an unassailable position, and a lunatic in front of you who obviously has something she likes? At that moment, I had about $8.75 left, she had about $14.75 left. The way I see it, the choices are pretty much:

- Check it down, and hope she fires out a bet: No, no, no, no, no. While you could re-raise her all-in if she does bet out, there’s always the chance that she’ll check behind you and cost you the chance to extract more chips. It may have been possible that doing so would make her put me on a busted diamond or straight draw, but I don’t recall re-raising anyone once during the entire session. I put her on putting me on a big hand, so this option is out the window.

- Go all-in myself: I thought about it, but I figured that there was too much of a chance that even the Mad Hatter inside her brain would recognize that the tea party was over, and that there was no way she had me beat. For me, the only argument for this would be that a) she’s a loony and b) she had me covered. Still, I had a feeling she would fold if I went down this route.

- Bet out, and hope to get re-raised: This is what I opted for, given the above. Now, it was a lightning-quick decision about how much to bet. The intention here is obviously to entice a re-raise, and at worst to at least have her call whatever I put out there. The three sub-choices at this point are:

- Bet a very small amount relative to the pot, like $2: Enticing, but she had to have sensed just enough danger to be more than happy to show it down for such a reduced price. A re-raise was unlikely given the player and the situation. If it were me in her shoes, it would work a good amount of the time.

- Bet just a shade under all-in, like $6: Also enticing, but I feared that would be too much, and she’d maybe get just suspicious enough to muck her hand.

- Bet something in the middle: This is what I opted for, and there wasn’t much science to it. I dragged the slider over to a little past the midpoint of the bar, and hit “Bet”. It ended up being $4.80, and she called and showed down her Kd-Kh.

Again, I have to stress that all of the above only relates to how I approached this one player on this one hand, so don’t get any ideas if you happen to find yourself against me on the felt some day! Even I know enough to know that you have to approach each hand as a completely different situation and adjust your game and your patterns accordingly. Anyway, this was a great session in the end, and even though I only profited because of that one monster at the end, I think I played much better than I had in the recent past, and that I’ll make even more money if I keep it up.

Hand Deconstruction, Part 2

In anything, be it hockey when I was a kid, or soccer or poker or the Wrestler application on Facebook now, I have never taken to losing very well. Never. I have the memories of broken sticks and yellow cards and hurled sunglasses to prove it.

The thing is, a lot depends on how the first couple of hands go. It’s weird, but it’s true. In soccer, if we’re warming up before the game and I make a couple of good saves right off the bat, I usually end up playing to the best of my ability...I get a kind of swagger and I don’t think too much about things. I just react and I end up amazing myself with the saves I end up making in the actual game. I think about it later and I can’t believe my body actually did that or I reacted THAT quickly. But, if I end up letting one dribble through my legs or if I fuck one up some other way, it stays in my head for the whole game and I’m much more likely to make some kind of awful mistake when it actually matters. Same thing with poker...if I win a few small pots or a big one early in the session, it becomes like a boulder rolling downhill...I become almost unstoppable. It’s not that all of a sudden I make better decisions on marginal hands (though sometimes that is the case, where I make gutsy calls or good folds I wouldn’t have done otherwise), it’s just that I’m much better suited to playing from a position of strength. I make a great table captain, but I have a very difficult time buckling down and coming back from a third or a half of my stack down (incidentally, this may also be why I’m a mediocre tournament player). That’s one of the many things I have to work on.

Furthermore, the fact that you only have 15 seconds or whatever to act definitely favors either the complete moron or the person whose game is absolutely airtight and who can run through all of this in their head in seconds. I’m not there yet, so there’s another reason for the constant struggle. In person, I have time to think, and I have my fairly-decent people-reading ability to fall back on. In this environment though, it’s like trying to play inmates at the loony bin while hopped up on amphetamines.

Before I get to the hands - I haven't had a chance to start linking to other sites yet, but I have had a few comments about how refreshing it is to see a micro-stakes blog. I ran into this while on Poker News, and it looks like it'll be worth a read once he really gets going: http://my.pokernews.com/FishFood/blog/.

Hand 1:

Seat 3: qiao*** (3.85 in chips)
Seat 7: 9889*** (6.43 in chips)
Seat 10: Swift29 (8.04 in chips)
Swift29: posts big blind $0.10
Dealt to Swift29 [ Td Jd ]
qiao***: calls
9889***: calls
Swift29: raises to $0.30
qiao***: folds
9889***: calls
@@@ F_L_O_P @@@ [ Ah Jc 7c ]
Swift29: bets $0.60
9889***: calls
# # # TURN # # # [ 8h ]
Swift29: checks
9889***: checks
&&& RIVER &&& [ Kh ]
Swift29: bets $0.80
9889***: calls
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Swift29: shows [ Td Jd ] (Pair of Jacks )
9889***: shows [ Qc Kd ] (Pair of Kings )
9889*** wins $3.40 with Pair of Kings

Why the fuck did I check the turn when firing another shell may have gotten rid of him, but yet fired at the river when there were TWO overcards to my pair? The person had something they liked to call two bets – what the fuck did I think they had? I have a real problem with giving up on the turn if my continuation bet on the flop is called...but then again, these people check-call all the way when they have a monster! What do you fucking do at this level? Maybe I thought they would have called anyway with two different flush draws out there, though looking back I wonder if another good bet on the turn would have made them give up. This player is also from China, and they’re all loose and insane, even by micro-stakes standards – keep that in mind.


Hand 2:

Seat 1: nsho*** (7.23 in chips)
Seat 7: 9889*** (8.38 in chips)
Seat 10: Swift29 (6.19 in chips)
Swift29: posts small blind $0.05
nsho***: posts big blind $0.10
Dealt to Swift29 [ 9h 7d ]
9889***: calls
Swift29: calls
nsho***: checks
@@@ F_L_O_P @@@ [ 6h 7h 8c ]
Swift29: bets $0.40
nsho***: folds
9889***: calls
# # # TURN # # # [ 9s ]
Swift29: bets $0.90
9889***: calls
&&& RIVER &&& [ Kh ]
Swift29: checks
9889***: bets $1.45
Swift29: folds
9889***: returns uncalled bet $1.45

The 5-cent call out of the SB was a no-brainer, and the 40-cent call wasn’t too bad, though it could as easily have been 20 or 30. This is the same crazy Chinese player, but they can’t be so mad as to call with just a pair, could they? What wasn’t defensible was, after the 40-cent flop bet was called, betting another *90* cents on the river. The call meant they had something they liked, and four to a straight out there almost guaranteed that they had a made straight. Now, if I had checked and the other person had checked, I could at least try and show down the two pair and hope I got lucky. Or, if fortune really smiled on me, maybe I'd donk out and catch my four-outer for the boat. If the other person made some kind of big bet, then I was probably beaten and I could have saved myself quite a few chips.

On the off chance that they were in there with A-A or K-Q or something, well, then all I can do is tip my cap to a great/crazy bluff and a gigantic set of balls.


Hand 3:

Hand #1454011532000172: Calgary 11532
Seat 1: mrsw*** (3.38 in chips)
Seat 9: Swift29 (10.75 in chips) (small blind)
Dealt to Swift29 [ Kd 8d ]
mrsw***: calls
CG L***: calls
smp5***: calls
Humm***: calls
Swift29: calls
VT B***: checks
@@@ F_L_O_P @@@ [ 2d Kc Td ]
Swift29: bets $0.80
mrsw***: is all in 3.1800
Swift29: calls
# # # TURN # # # [ Tc ]
&&& RIVER &&& [ Jc ]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
mrsw shows A-K
mrsw*** wins $7.21 with Two Pairs, Kings and Tens with Ace kicker

I called an all-in bet with that? Is this defensible? Unlike the post before, I think in this case my flush was good no matter what unless they had Ad-xd. If they had that, more power to them. The pot was 1.80 after my 80-cent bet, and they bet slightly less than double that. These donks only ever make this play when they have an absolute monster, so about the only reasonable holdings were A-A, K-K, K-Q, K-J, K-10, 10-10, 2-2. I have to call $2.38 to win $4.98 (2.09:1), and in these scenarios:

A-A, 10-10, 2-2: I’m going to assume that even if one of the Aces was the Ad, that two running diamonds were not going to come out. In that case, for all three opposing holdings I have two Kings, 3 eights, and 9 diamonds that will win. 14 outs = 2.28:1. Not the worst call ever, still not correct.

K-K, K-Q, K-J, K-10: The two Kings are out, so just the 12 outs. 2.83:1.

This wasn’t as egregiously bad as I thought before I ran the numbers, but still not a great call...especially with so much money on the line. I haven't made too many mistakes at .10/.20, but this was definitely one of them.


Hand 4:

Hand #1519012454000409: Paris 12454 (.5/.10)
Seat 1: AXEL*** (3.30 in chips)
Seat 2: medi*** (18.29 in chips)
Seat 10: Swift29 (10.10 in chips) (big blind)
Dealt to Swift29 [ Kc Ks ]
AXEL***: raises to $0.35
medi***: calls
DI T***: calls
Swift29: raises to $1
AXEL***: calls
medi***: calls
DI T***: calls
@@@ F_L_O_P @@@ [ Ts 2s Qc ]
Swift29: is all in 9.1000
AXEL***: is all in 2.3000
medi***: calls
DI T***: folds
Swift29: shows Kc Ks
AXEL***: shows Kh Jh
medi***: shows 2c 2d
# # # TURN # # # [ 4c ]
&&& RIVER &&& [ 3d ]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
medi*** wins $12.94 with Three of a Kind, Deuces
*** SHOW DOWN ***
medi*** wins $10.41 with Three of a Kind, Deuces

Here’s another wonderful thing about online donkfests. I re-raise to TEN FUCKING TIMES the BB pre-flop, and THREE people call. UGH. Unless you have A-A or K-K, how do you call that? Q-Q would only be defensible if you put the other guy on A-K, and for me, J-J goes right into the muck unless you’re fucking retarded. In this hand, two people call 65 more cents with K-J and 2-2. Oh. My. Fucking. God. That said, why go all-in after the flop? Just on the off-chance that someone donked out on me, why did I do that and lose more chips than I should have? And, if someone hadn’t donked out on me yet and was going to chase something dumb, wouldn’t that have chased them out when chances are I could have extracted more money from them? So, that was the main mistake there, I suppose.

So, I went all-in, and BOTH people called. As it turned out, that poster child for abortion had called my pre-flop raise with 2-2, and hit his miracle two-outer. K-K vs. 2-2 pre-flop is 82%-18% in favor of the cowboys, and if I have my math right, that works out to something like 4.2 or 4.3:1. With my all-in bet, he was getting 2.73:1 on his money ($2.30 into a pot of $6.30), so there’s no possible way to defend his call...especially with someone else in the hand (even if you want to go the implied-odds route and assume that the second retard would call, he still was only getting 3.74:1)! I mean, first off, what did he think I had? With any pocket pair, he was in a whole world of trouble. Even if I were a total moron and had re-raised that much with 3-3, I still had him dominated to the tune of 78%-17%! He must have thought I had two overcards, and he was willing to half of his big stack on a race situation. He would be a 52-48 favorite against A-K, K-Q, etc. However, that doesn’t take into account that there was still yet another moron in the hand as well! It’s one thing to duck two overcards, but three? Four? It essentially doesn’t matter what either of our hands were – against 2-2, there are at least three and more likely four overcards to duck unless we happened to have the same exact hand. Even if we both had, hmm...A-K, he’s still probably only a 65% favorite or so (and that is the most generous and unlikely situation possible).

Speaking of this other moron, he ended up calling the rest of his stack with K-J! Even though it was SOOTED, there were no hearts out there on the flop, so he couldn’t even catch a flush! Wow! All he had in all likelihood was the open-ended straight draw...he couldn’t possibly think he’d win the pot if a Jack came off based on the fact that I bet NINE FUCKING DOLLARS AND TEN CENTS at it, with a dollar pre-flop raise before that (and one ass-bandit who called the $9.10)! Even with a King, any reasonable person would think they would probably be out-kicked. And, the worst thing was I would have had a nice profit of all of his stack if that other stupid bastard piece of shit douche-rocket hadn’t called the pre-flop raise with his pair of twos. Assuming that someone had done the world a favor and tossed Medi into a spinning set of helicopter blades previous to him signing on for this session, I’d have picked up a nice pot here.

If there were any justice in this world, I would have caught a King or a running Ace-Jack and raped that motherfucker of half of his chips. But, that’s poker, I suppose...at least down here in the micro-limit slums.



Hand 5:

Seat 1: Swift29 (9.90 in chips)
Seat 8: Sere*** (9.58 in chips) (big blind)
Dealt to Swift29 [ Qd Kd ]
jdav***: raises to $0.50
Sere***: calls
Swift29: calls
420L***: calls
@@@ F_L_O_P @@@ [ 2d Qc Td ]
Swift29: bets $2.10
Sere***: calls
# # # TURN # # # [ 3h ]
Swift29: bets $3.80
Sere***: is all in 6.9800
Swift29: calls
&&& RIVER &&& [ Ac ]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Sere*** wins $19.21 with Three of a Kind, Tens

Later on in that same game, after I had reloaded for another $10. This is another case of me over-playing a pair plus a flush draw. Some guy raised to 5X the BB, and with another person having already called, I think a call was reasonable getting 3:1 on my money with K-Q suited. The person after me calling made it 4:1, so even better!

The flop was an excellent one to my hand, with the aforementioned top-pair/decent-kicker and the second-nut flush draw. I bet just a tad more than the pot, because with 4 people in there I wanted to get rid of other drawing hands...and, honestly, I was kind of hoping to just take it down right there. The BB was the only one to call, but with only A-A, K-K, A-Q, K-Q, Q-Q, Q-10 and 10-10 ahead of me at the time, I thought I was in fairly good shape. However, all of those are very reasonable hands to call a 5X BB raise with (at least here in micro-land), and in a real-life setting a bunch of those would have meant a re-raise before the flop anyway (at which point my K-Q suited probably goes directly into the muck).

However, the call at that point should have told me something was up. Still, there were a pretty decent range of hands that I was ahead of (A-10, K-10, Q-10, Q-J, J-10, 10-9, maybe even 9-9, 9-8 or a low pocket pair if they were a total maniac). With the last two cards still to come, I figured that another King, another Queen or any of the 9 diamonds left would win me the hand. 2.06:1 is pretty nice in most cases, so I don’t think I did much wrong up to that point.

The 3h was of course useless to both of us, but it lowered my winning chances down to exactly 2:1. It’s not much of a change, so I still thought I was in fairly good shape. Of course, I haven’t mentioned yet the chances involved of winning the hand with what the opponent actually had, 10-10. In that case, the two-pair option is a no go, so it’s just the 9 outs for the flush. Before the turn it would be 4.1:1, and after the turn it’s 4:1 exactly. Those aren’t great odds, but again, the only opposing hands that would lay me those odds were Q-Q, 10-10 and 2-2. After the flop, against a random hand, my pair-plus-flush draw has a 90% chance to win against a random opposing hand. So, perhaps my post-turn aggression wasn’t the dumbest thing ever, but this was against an opponent who had called a fairly healthy post-flop bet.

I think, in retrospect, I had put my opponent on a straight draw. When the harmless turn fell, I guess I was just value-betting to see if they would be dumb enough to actually call it. Imagine my surprise when the son of a bitch went all-in for their last $6.98! At that point, the only thing you can put them on is a set or two pair, minimum. Maybe on the outside they have A-Q, but I’m behind at this point by any reasonable assumption. The way I remembered it, I think I insta-called probably more out of a combination of frustration (remember, I was Tilty McTilterson after the hand above) and impulsiveness more than anything else. How dumb was that play? Well, at this point I’m definitely dead to just the 9 outs for the flush...with one card to come, it’s a 4:1 chance to hit. The all-in bet meant calling another $3.18 into a pot of $16.98. Huh...that’s actually 5.33:1 on my money, so it turns out that was the correct call...I didn’t remember it that way, but it does make me feel a little better. Still, part of me wonders whether I should have checked the turn to see what happened, but then again, wouldn’t that be conceding the initiative to the other person? If they go all-in at that point, it’s $6.98 into a pot of $13.18, or 1.89:1...and it’s an insta-fold of a hand that just may have been ahead.

I guess if I’m being honest with myself, this wasn’t entirely a fuck-up on my part, but to have this happen so soon for all my chips right after going busto on the hand noted above...it’s more than a man can take sometimes.